Surrogacy is a very serious thing for everyone invested in the process. The gestational carrier or a surrogate is giving themselves in the most selfless way a woman can give of themselves. The intended parents are getting the opportunity to fill a huge gap in their lives, a chance to love and raise a child.
With so much love, care, and emotion tied up in the surrogacy process, everything little facet of the process must be handled in exactly the right way. That is why the laws and rules surrounding becoming a surrogate are so strict and strictly enforced.
Since you are absolutely entitled to an explanation as to why being a surrogate without kid experience is not feasible, we are going to give you some important details. Hopefully, the information will make clear that the prior pregnancy requirement of the surrogacy process is the most important disqualification surrogacy or fertility clinics have to abide by.
What is easy for everyone to understand about having a child is the biology behind the entire process. There is a human science related to pregnancy and the birth of a child, something everyone learns about in school. What people cannot understand when they haven’t yet been parents is the mental and emotional components of going through pregnancy and becoming a parent.
Here is the key part of why surrogates who haven’t had children create such a huge risk. The surrogate mum who has never had a child has no way of knowing how they will react. If you haven’t been pregnant and gone through the birthing process, it is all a great unknown to you and the people around you.
Given the importance of the surrogacy process, unknowns represent risks. Bringing risk into the process is exactly the wrong thing to do with so much on the line.
For the gestational mother, becoming a surrogate without pregnancy in the past creates some of the aforementioned unknowns. The first unknown is how their body is going to react physically to being pregnant and giving birth. Every woman’s body reacts to this entire “having a baby“ process a little differently. While most women breeze through the process with little to no complications, there are women who encounter significant problems.
We would be remiss to not also discuss the unknowns related to mental health. Are you mentally and emotionally able to carry an unborn child? Having never had a child, are you emotionally prepared to hand your first child over to someone else? Do you know how hormonal changes are going to affect the way you feel and think? Again, you cannot answer these questions because there is no history.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact you have never been pregnant before. It just means surrogacy at this point in your life is too risky.
You can never forget that the intended parents would also have a huge vested interest in the whole process. They too will be affected by how well things go up until that beautiful baby is placed in their arms. For them, any uncertainties are going to be unacceptable.
Remember, the intended parents would be making a huge emotional and financial investment in the process. Until that child is delivered, they will be nervous. Keep in mind, most intended parents have already been put through emotional and mental distress because they can’t have children on their own. For them, a surrogate mother might be the only way they can have the child they want so much.
For the most part, they will be sitting on pins and needles because they have no control once they sign on the dotted line. All they can do is wait. While they wait, they have the right to expect they are going to get the child for which they have been waiting for so long.
With peace of mind on the line for intended parents, fertility clinics have a responsibility to make sure there is an excellent chance the surrogate mother will be able to deliver a healthy baby. That is why clinics take surrogate requirements so seriously. It’s a matter of matching the right surrogate with the right intended parents with as much certainty as possible.
In closing, it is reasonable that you might feel disappointed you can’t serve as a surrogate without kid experience. Still, you should be very proud of the fact you are such a caring person. We know that by the simple fact you are looking into the possibility of being a gestational mother. Should you ever have a child of your own and still want to serve as a surrogate, you would likely be a good candidate because you seem to have the right intentions.
